|
Back to Articles Index
Friend
Etiquette: What to Say When...
Some of you reading this may not have heard of Emily Post. She was the
etiquette guru of her time, selling millions of books on how to
properly behave in a myriad of situations.
After years of training and coaching, I've realized the value of Mrs.
Post's advice. Since each of us has our own beliefs about how people
should behave, it's important that we communicate assertively
(especially to our friends).
I admit, I got a taste of this recently when a friend didn't invite me
to her wedding. As I as working through the win-win formula to get my
script, I thought I'd share my thoughts about what you might say:
When a
friend does/says something that leaves you feeling left out.
Option A
After evaluating the friendship, you decide to go your separate ways.
"I've been thinking about our friendship, and I think we are going in
different directions. I value all the great memories we have together
and wish you the best."
Option B
You decide you want to stay friends, and that you need to express your
feelings to avoid harboring a grudge.
"I felt left out/hurt when I wasn't invited to your 'event.' Because
you're my friend, I know you didn't intend to hurt me. So, I think we
may have different ideas about what our friendship is. I'd like to talk
with you about that. Would that be valuable to you too?"
Keep in mind, there are as many options as there are friendships. Using
the win-win formula will help you choose the best option for your
situation.
More
friendship etiquette scripts:
What to say when a friend:
Makes
so many requests of you that you feel you're being used.
I appreciate that you think of me when you need help, and I also have
other obligations. Thanks in advance for understanding if sometimes I'm
unable to meet your request.
Negatively
judges 'your way' of handling an aspect of your life.
I value your friendship, and I'd prefer to handle 'x' this way. Thanks
for understanding.
Makes
derogatory comments about you to mutual friends.
When you said, "Forgive Terri, she likes to be the one who has the last
word", I felt like this bothered you. Is there something we should
discuss directly?
Is
consistently late or breaks plans with you.
When
we make plans, I manage my calendar around those plans. If things are
changed last minute, then I've missed out on time with you and time
with others.
Since I value the time we spend together, will you only make plans with
me that you know you can keep?
Copyright 2009, develup
Visitors may use the information contained
in this article by placing the following credit line:
"This article is used by permission from
develup. Other articles are available at www.develup.biz."
Courtesy notifications of article use are
appreciated and can be sent to coach@develup.biz
Back to
Articles index
Back to top
|
