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Win-Win Communication
There are 3 types of communication, and 1 hybrid type. They are:
Passive
Assertive
Aggressive
Passive-Aggressive
Most people have a primary type. Yet, they can choose other types,
either consciously or unconsciously. In the book by Steven Covey, he
asserts that the assertive type of communication is most effective for
long-term relationships; he calls this type of communication, win-win
communication.
Since communication starts with the way we think or perceive any person
or situation, here are some examples of the thoughts that make up each
type. See if you can identify your primary type.
Passive
Thoughts:
Why do these things happen to me?
What do I need to say in order to have them like me?
How can I respond without hurting their feelings?
Assertive
thoughts: (Win-Win Formula)
What do I want from the situation/relationship? (Consider short- and
long-term goals.)
What do I think they want?
What can I say or do to preserve both our self-esteem?
Aggressive
thoughts:
Who do they think they are?
Why should I sit here and take this?
What can I say to put them in their place and keep them there?
Passive/Aggressive
thoughts:
Who gave them the right to do that?
Who said they were in charge?
Why do people think they can control me?
Why should I have to justify my actions to anyone?
By using the thoughts of assertive communication as a formula, you will
be able to focus on your goals for the situation and relationship. This
formula also helps you to remove the emotional element that is usually
present when we communicate with fear or regret.
Where have you been communicating out of fear or regret? How can you
apply the formula to get a more effective result? Do you have a
situation to share, or a question? Ask the coach.
Copyright 2009, develup
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